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A Thousand Mothers Collecting the Bones

Welcome to this space where I express the truth of my loss and grief. My precious, beautiful, life-filled child died in April 2022. I sometimes wonder if my background as a hospice nurse and chaplain was all preparation for our final moments together. After this devastating loss, I entered into the most overwhelming darkness. 

In my traumatic grief journey, the most important resources I found were creative expression and other bereaved parents who had also sat in this darkness. The only reason I believed that light could one day return was because they were intimately familiar with the terrain. Mourning through making art has allowed me to hold a wider range of feeling that includes the capacity to experience exquisite joy that exists not in spite of my grief but because of it.

My partner and I have created a performance piece called A Thousand Mothers Collecting the Bones: a Journey of Grief and Praise about our experience with losing our child. It debuts May 9th at La Pena Cultural Center in Berkeley. 

I hope you find solace in knowing I share your grief. May you find relief and meaning-making through my visual art and writing. May my grief and praise journey give you inspiration and companionship on your path. I hope to connect with you at a public performance ritual or for private grief coaching, rituals, art making, and end-of-life support.

With deep love and compassion,

Monique

“When we love deeply, we mourn deeply; extraordinary grief is an expression of extraordinary love. Grief and love mirror each other; one is not possible without the other.”
Joanne Cacciatore, Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

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My Creative Process

“Grief is not the end of things but rather the dark substrate from which great things can emerge.” Nick Cave

I wake and become the mourning
after the devastation the sun still rises
the birds sing ecstasy
your body beautiful
I loved
now gone
your absence has become my living
After so much heaviness
I rise again into this world
which is meant for me
Wrap me in love
awe stretches my heart as wide as the sky
the earth that loved you
still loves me.

A Theater and Music PerformanceA Thousand Mothers Collecting the Bones

A Journey of Grief and Praise
MAY
9
A thousand mothers collecting the bones: a theater and music performance of grief and praise
Performance piece with theater and music about the death of our son to suicide & our grief & healing journey
7pm, La Pena Cultural Center, Berkeley, $25 early bird, $35 at the door

What Audience Members Say about A Thousand Mothers Collecting the Bones

What an extraordinary event. No more hiding, no more shame, no more isolation. Your collective performance allows us all to be free to go deep, open and outstretched to the truth and wholeness of allowing the pain of grief all the way in. I honor the strength in the vulnerability expressed by Monique and Phoenix. I am so honored and grateful for the witness experience and the place it touches in me. I feel safer in the world to be me in my own brokenness.

TherapistTree, Bereaved Mother and retired palliative care nurse

I had been processing a lot of mama grief (for my mom, my grief about my kids. etc) when I went to your ritual performance, and it really helped move something for me. Seeing your powerful process and how your surrender to grief has really transformed you in such profound ways was a beautiful reminder to me that opening to grief is really the medicine.

Mother and therapistAnastasia

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Grief Daylongs

Connect in Community
JUNE
7
Grief daylong for bereaved parents
Ritual, writing, collage art, voicework, sound bath, nature
10am-5pm, 6262 Highland Ave. Richmond, $195-$250
JUNE
21
Grief daylong with Ritual, Art Making, Sound Bath, Nature
Co-facilitated with Phoenix Song
10am-5pm, 6262 Highland Ave. Richmond, $195-$250
Photos by Stani Photography

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